There is someone for everyone. That’s what we’re all told. Statistically speaking, yes that’s true. A rapidly growing population puts your chance of finding your ‘soulmate’ at similarly increasing odds. But is the idea of a ‘soulmate’ a thing of the past? I would argue yes. Does this mean that the romance is dead? No, certainly not.
Once you strip away the pretension and troglodytic nature of the modern concept of love as portrayed by new media, you’ll find that away from the public eye there are cohorts of young lovers thriving, married couples still going strong and bonds being formed between all sorts of people who define themselves under recently rewritten gender rules. Although I myself may sometimes find myself struggling to understand the difference between a ‘transmasculine kinky sub-boy’ and an ‘gender non-specific demigirl’, at the heart of the matter all we find is someone looking to be loved by another. That is fine by me.
Tinder comes under attack for myriad reasons. Undoubtedly there are negatives to such a service. Some may argue that it in face makes us less sociable as we become consigned to sitting in a dark, dank room scrolling through endless digital images of people whilst simultaneously attempting to type out a message and furiously masturbate. Others may argue that there are safety risks. A naive, yet crafty, thirteen year-old girl could lie about her age, construct a profile and then find herself locked in the basement of a thirty seven year old man with rather alarming, frankly illegal, sexual preferences. However, if used correctly and responsibly, I find no issue with using dating apps. Whether you’re looking for a disappointing night with an overly boastful and confident ‘alpha dog’ or you’re looking to find your life-partner then such apparatus can be helpful in navigating the minefield that is the modern world.
Look around yourself and you’ll see canoodling couples at every turn. People must be doing something right. The problem is that there are no set rules; the subjectivity of our experiences of love and romance prevent a worldview or set guidelines from being formed. Pessimism and optimism define one another. You’ll be faced with both at one point or another from within and from external sources. The concept of love is too abstract to grasp or even begin to attempt to unpack in a short opinion piece. I will say, however, that it is ultimately unknowable. Perhaps our modern concept of love as an attainable, material object that everyone deserves has corrupted the pure idea of love that exists in a reality displaced from our own. Perhaps it is just a chemical reaction in our brain that wears off after a certain span. I believe that if it feels like love then by all means label it as such. In hindsight, maybe you’ll change your mind. Until that point in time, do whatever makes you feel good.